...Toby was all about 613. She was born at 6:13 am, weighed 6 pounds 13 ounces and her biggest regret in life was that she wasn’t born on June, 13 (6/13)- even her first email address was Toby613@aol. That’s just who she was – Torah & Mitzvos. Right after the levaya the shluchim from
...One day during shiva, several women, in each group that came, asked if Toby had any premonitions about what was going to happen and I thought about it and realized that something I had been told would be an answer to that question. The night before the levaya I wanted to call Chani Goldstein because I had heard she wasn’t feeling so well – to be mechazek (strengthen) her in some way. I had heard she was supposed to go to
…that comes to Friday morning when Toby prepared me for everything that was going to happen – you don’t even realize these things at first but as everything is unfolding I stopped and thought wait a second – I woke up at 7:30 Friday and was nursing the baby and Gavriel and Yosef who are 5 and 7 ka”h were in my husband’s bed and usually sleep late but they got up early and Yosef came over to bed and laid across the bottom of the bed – we said good morning but that was it then Yosef asked a question- “mommy will you be at my funeral?” but at the time it seemed random because he had never experienced death but he had just been at an unveiling the week before – so as his mom, I answered to the best of my knowledge and ability so I said chas v’shalom – its not the natural order of things for parents to bury a child – we discussed our respective ages and that I would do all I had to accomplish and he still would have time to do what he had to do – we ended with no, probably not …then Gavriel who was listening and who has spoken about this subject before …buried his head in his hands and said, “I don’t want to die!” so I started to say that Hashem has a job for every soul and each neshama has a mission that it is very excited about doing and when it is done it wants to go back and report to Hashem, “look I did it! ” and then Hashem takes the neshama and refreshes it and sends it back – but the neshama cant accomplish its mission on its own – it needs a body …some neshamas are speedier than others and then they are very happy to go back to report but when they do, then the body isn’t alive anymore and then that is sad for us because it was someone we loved…then the knock came…Toby’s neshama was using Yosef and Gavriel to prepare us for what was going to happen…
…A bit about Yosef who was the first vehicle for carrying the message and preparing us… Yosef is our 7th child ka”h and he was born right after the shloshim for my father-in-law whose name was Yitzchok Yosef but my husband wanted to switch the order to the order of the Previous Lubavitcher Rebbe, R’ Yosef Yitzchok, especially since he was born Vav Shevat (6th day of Jewish month of Shevat)– same week as Yud Shevat(the day the Previous Rebbe passed away) but then the night before the bris, my husband said I’ve been thinking about this – I want to add a name to Yosef Yitzchok– obviously this will rule out using another combination using this name in the future but I want to add the name Menachem because I can’t explain to you how much of a Nechama (comfort- same root word as Menachem) it is to have a baby right after losing my father and being able to name a baby by his name, right after – and since he is the 7th child and he was born right before Yud Shevat(also the day the Rebbe, R’ Menachem Mendel- the 7th Rebbe of Lubavitch, accepted leadership) it seemed right so he is Menachem Yosef Yitzchok. When Yosef was born - I had never seen or heard this before – he was born in his sac and looked like a baby in a bubble and even though he was in it for just a few seconds it feels like years– he was completely enclosed – my midwife said that in other cultures – it is a very good omen for a baby to be born in its sac – of course because Kol hashviin chavivin (all sevenths are beloved) but now again seeing what a key player Yosef was in bringing us to this next stage of life – also Toby passed away in the month of Menachem Av
… so while receiving the news – I was in one chair and a friend was in another and Yosef who was playing outside came in the door he was bathed in a ray of sunlight and he tilted his head slightly upwards into the light which was facing my friend and said do you hear the hearkening – and she looked at him surprised and he saw that she was looking at him and he repeated – and she said what did you say so he repeats “did you hear the hearkening’ and when she didn’t get it he gave her a look that said, “what do adults know” and walked out – so on the last day of shiva this friend came and told us this story and Yosef pops in an hour later and hadn’t been in the room the whole week and now he was sitting and listening so I asked, “did you ever hear the word hearkening?” and he said “yes” and I said “do you know what it means” and he said “no” but he remembers saying it so I asked well what did you mean and he just shrugged ...so who knows maybe Yosef heard them welcoming Toby’s neshama in Gan Eden
… when the knock came right after the conversation about this subject we were all in pajamas and I asked Yosef to get the door but he refused to go to the door and typically if he won’t do something, I say “come on, I only have to ask once, do it b’zrizus, kibud av v’em, etc” but the knocking kept coming but he wouldn’t go so then Yishai ran to the door and opened it up but then just stood there and Yosef very begrudgingly went to the door and came back and said both Mr. & Mrs Zeitlin are here so she sent him to say she would be ready soon and again he very begrudgingly went…..more to come..