Saturday, September 8, 2007

Stories of Toby a"h

Shortly after we put up the Project Pledge website Mrs Eagle called me to thank me and to offer some suggestions about the site, including that it might be nice to post some stories about Toby. So on Monday night, Vav Elul - August 20th, I went over to the Eagle's house and transcribed many of the stories that had been told during Shiva. I did my best to keep the stories in their original form so the following is one long thought process.

...Toby was all about 613. She was born at 6:13 am, weighed 6 pounds 13 ounces and her biggest regret in life was that she wasn’t born on June, 13 (6/13)- even her first email address was Toby613@aol. That’s just who she was – Torah & Mitzvos. Right after the levaya the shluchim from Myrtle Beach called and said they wanted to write a Sefer Torah in Toby’s memory – as Mrs. Eagle put it, “duh! Toby 613 – ya it makes so much sense, the 613th mitzvah is writing a torah and Toby is definitely connected to 613.”

...One day during shiva, several women, in each group that came, asked if Toby had any premonitions about what was going to happen and I thought about it and realized that something I had been told would be an answer to that question. The night before the levaya I wanted to call Chani Goldstein because I had heard she wasn’t feeling so well – to be mechazek (strengthen) her in some way. I had heard she was supposed to go to Italy for seminary and Toby had gone with friends to Italy the summer before and I knew Toby would want her to go. The next day, Chani came to my house and we were talking before the levaya – I said I am sure you don’t want to talk about it and I don’t want to hear about the accident but if you want to talk about the ride before… were you having a good time? What were you talking about? Chani said that after Toby picked them up from the bus, they started out on their ride and a little into the ride Toby asked if they wanted to hear her life story. She proceeded to tell them from birth on – of course the beginning was my stories (she was too young to remember them) – up until the present. Then she got tired and asked if they could switch and went to sleep. While Toby was telling her story she kept asking if she was boring them and they just laughed and she kept going …

…that comes to Friday morning when Toby prepared me for everything that was going to happen – you don’t even realize these things at first but as everything is unfolding I stopped and thought wait a second – I woke up at 7:30 Friday and was nursing the baby and Gavriel and Yosef who are 5 and 7 ka”h were in my husband’s bed and usually sleep late but they got up early and Yosef came over to bed and laid across the bottom of the bed – we said good morning but that was it then Yosef asked a question- “mommy will you be at my funeral?” but at the time it seemed random because he had never experienced death but he had just been at an unveiling the week before – so as his mom, I answered to the best of my knowledge and ability so I said chas v’shalom – its not the natural order of things for parents to bury a child – we discussed our respective ages and that I would do all I had to accomplish and he still would have time to do what he had to do – we ended with no, probably not …then Gavriel who was listening and who has spoken about this subject before …buried his head in his hands and said, “I don’t want to die!” so I started to say that Hashem has a job for every soul and each neshama has a mission that it is very excited about doing and when it is done it wants to go back and report to Hashem, “look I did it! ” and then Hashem takes the neshama and refreshes it and sends it back – but the neshama cant accomplish its mission on its own – it needs a body …some neshamas are speedier than others and then they are very happy to go back to report but when they do, then the body isn’t alive anymore and then that is sad for us because it was someone we loved…then the knock came…Toby’s neshama was using Yosef and Gavriel to prepare us for what was going to happen…

Afterwards I had to go back and explain to the boys that what we had just discussed was now happening to us-


…A bit about Yosef who was the first vehicle for carrying the message and preparing us… Yosef is our 7th child ka”h and he was born right after the shloshim for my father-in-law whose name was Yitzchok Yosef but my husband wanted to switch the order to the order of the Previous Lubavitcher Rebbe, R’ Yosef Yitzchok, especially since he was born Vav Shevat (6th day of Jewish month of Shevat)– same week as Yud Shevat(the day the Previous Rebbe passed away) but then the night before the bris, my husband said I’ve been thinking about this – I want to add a name to Yosef Yitzchok– obviously this will rule out using another combination using this name in the future but I want to add the name Menachem because I can’t explain to you how much of a Nechama (comfort- same root word as Menachem) it is to have a baby right after losing my father and being able to name a baby by his name, right after – and since he is the 7th child and he was born right before Yud Shevat(also the day the Rebbe, R’ Menachem Mendel- the 7th Rebbe of Lubavitch, accepted leadership) it seemed right so he is Menachem Yosef Yitzchok. When Yosef was born - I had never seen or heard this before – he was born in his sac and looked like a baby in a bubble and even though he was in it for just a few seconds it feels like years– he was completely enclosed – my midwife said that in other cultures – it is a very good omen for a baby to be born in its sac – of course because Kol hashviin chavivin (all sevenths are beloved) but now again seeing what a key player Yosef was in bringing us to this next stage of life – also Toby passed away in the month of Menachem Av

… so while receiving the news – I was in one chair and a friend was in another and Yosef who was playing outside came in the door he was bathed in a ray of sunlight and he tilted his head slightly upwards into the light which was facing my friend and said do you hear the hearkening – and she looked at him surprised and he saw that she was looking at him and he repeated – and she said what did you say so he repeats “did you hear the hearkening’ and when she didn’t get it he gave her a look that said, “what do adults know” and walked out – so on the last day of shiva this friend came and told us this story and Yosef pops in an hour later and hadn’t been in the room the whole week and now he was sitting and listening so I asked, “did you ever hear the word hearkening?” and he said “yes” and I said “do you know what it means” and he said “no” but he remembers saying it so I asked well what did you mean and he just shrugged ...so who knows maybe Yosef heard them welcoming Toby’s neshama in Gan Eden

… when the knock came right after the conversation about this subject we were all in pajamas and I asked Yosef to get the door but he refused to go to the door and typically if he won’t do something, I say “come on, I only have to ask once, do it b’zrizus, kibud av v’em, etc” but the knocking kept coming but he wouldn’t go so then Yishai ran to the door and opened it up but then just stood there and Yosef very begrudgingly went to the door and came back and said both Mr. & Mrs Zeitlin are here so she sent him to say she would be ready soon and again he very begrudgingly went…

..more to come..

Saturday, August 25, 2007

More Thoughts

We B"H are getting more and more pledges in each day. The following are more beautiful messages that accompanied pledges:

"Toby, your unquenchable desire to learn, and your honest feel for Moshiach... You knew that learning about Moshiach will make it actualize. Thank you for teaching that to me, and so much more..."

"i will always know that this is memory of toby so it will push me to keep my hachlata"

"I remember Toby from when I was a little girl and I went to her house for homeschooling activities. I really liked her from the first time. she was so sweet. This tragedy is awful, but let's remember her life of goodness even as we mourn her passing."

" This is such a beautiful thing. Although I didn't know Toby a''h personally we did share mutual friends. I think that it's amazing how yidden and chassidim turn over the world when something like this happens . May we merit to see moshiach now !"

"
שלום לכם מאוד מצטער עלה נשמה הכול טוב שמים נתן לה העולם הבא יבוא משחי אמן"

"
I didn't know Toby very well, but I know that she was an amazing person. My heart goes out to her family, and may my mitzvos go up to her in shamayim."

"
Moshiach should come really soon and end all the pain and sorrows of this world!!!"

"
i love you toby..and i hope this will bring moshiach now..so that we will be reunited with you once again."

"
I only knew toby for a short while at tizmoret, but from the the first time i met her that she was a happy amazing role model for not only her siblings but also me and the rest of tizmoret."

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Toby’s Light:

By: Chani Slonim

Your light was so bright
your smile so clear
you lifted our hearts
sweet music you would share

The light is now dimmer
As we picture you here
So tangible, yet not
It is too much to bear

Taken in a flash
You left a void so deep
The emptiness we feel
And for that we weep

Countless people you touched
With a smile so warm
You brightened days
Lives you transformed

So very young
you were taken away
yet your goal you accomplished
You lived fully every day

The impression you made
Will stay with us always
Toby, your pure light shines
And we bask in your rays

Friday, August 17, 2007

by Bracha Bard-Wigdor

My fondest memory of Toby goes back in the day, when we were in camp together in the 8th grade. It was visiting day and the Eagle family came to visit Toby. Anybody who knows the Eagle's knows they are an incredible family of musicians! Well I didn't know that until that summer…I walk into the bunkhouse, and sitting before me is a family orchestrating the finest music for all to see. I was amazed, for a kid like me it was like watching a live band, only they were children & they were Toby's family! After the Eagle's left that day I remember asking Toby how they all did that?! She went on to explain, how each one has a different talent and each played a different instrument, and that was how they played so well together. It was that unison that I was attracted to. She said it with such pride and happiness that she was a part of that. I'll never forget as long as I live how I just stood there as a 12 yr old wishing I had a family like that! I was thinking how I had come back from Walmart buying Snapples and junk food while there was a girl in my camp, who was more than content to just sit with her family, spend time with them and just make music. To me, that was Toby. I think she had an incredible family and may we all be blessed to have such blessings in our life. I pray every day that G-D should show his compassion to us and bring the final stage of redemption now so we can be reunited with all our loved ones. Toby you're terribly missed, we want you back. I'm praying Mincha in your honor and memory. Lots of Love.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Your Thoughts...

The following are beautiful messages we have received through projectpledge.com:

- May all these hachlotos bring about the ultimate revelation of G-dliness and the ultimate comfort with moshiach NOW!

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Thank You Toby

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My thoughts and prayers are with all touched by this beautiful young lady

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A heartfelt wish of nechama and koach to Toby's family! We want Moshiach NOW!

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With my deepest sympathy for the loss of your beloved Toby

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moshiachnow!

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i didnt personally know toby, but i can see that she was someone very special and i hope that i can help elevate her neshama through doing things in a positive way in honor of her

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In the merit of everyone taking more things upon themselves, may moshiach come NOW!

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we are making this world a better place! chazak vametz!

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Toby was a true light, a "lichtekeit." May her radiance remembered help us make this a better world.

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may the actions of all merit the coming of moshiach... and be an aliah neshama to toby

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Although i didn t know her personaly i feel great grieve and we all should from now on only experience simchas and the biggest simcha of the coming of moshiach speedly. המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שערי אבלי ציון וירושלים

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Toby's neshoma should have an aliya as i do the mitzva of baking challah for shabbos

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Od Mosai! Od Mosai! Od Mosai!

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This tragedy has brought so many people together in her merit and may the Eagles have healing from these acts done in their holy daughter's merit.

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May we all be zoche to meet our new friend, Toby in Yerusholaim toghether with all Am Yisrael TODAY

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May the Eagle family be comforted by this beautiful legacy to their daugther and bring so many more mitzvah to the world.

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Im pledging this mitzva in honor of toby, and that we should see moshiach speedily now!

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May all these efforts break the final gate and bring moshiach now!

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im so happy that i am able to be part of something for someone so special like toby a"h was.

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...We will be Zoche to see her and every one with the coming of Moshaich...

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Toby's family and friends should find some comfort from all the good that is being done L'ilu Nishmasah.

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This is really special! So happy to be a part of it!

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in memory of my dear friend Toby, I am going to try and work on a mitzvah that is very hard for me and that is tznius!

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Toby in yidish means "GOOD" -a GUTSKIET --- I had the privilage to be a councler near Hartford, Conneticut in Gan Yisroel together with her father in 1981 when The Rebbe still had him finish his college studies and his warmth to yidishkiet was already then so vibrant & real as if he was born into a frum family. It was a opportunity to get to know such a selfless and strong-bitochoin person. Hashem should be menacheim him b'toich sh'aar aveilei tziyoin v'yerusholayim

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I wish my hearfelt condoleces. I bli neder take this Hachlata to increase positive acts and thoughts towards others. This is such a beatiful project which was made in Toby's honor. I was really touched when i saw it. May we all merit the revelation of Mashiach NOW!!!

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i would like to take upon myself this hachlatah in memory of toby and for a refuah shelaima for orah mital as well.

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We WILL see her soon

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i want 2 do as much as i can for toby!

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Toby i hope to be one day good and caring as you are.

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I take upon myself to spread light, to continue Toby's work of spreading light throughout the world. The world misses you Toby.

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We miss you very much Toby! Please daven upon our behalf that Moshiach should came already so we can all be together in Yerushalyim!

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This is for Toby ! and i hope in the merit of this website and everyone taking pledges that Moshiach will finally come and we will be able to see Toby again!

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May Hashem give her family comfort and the Jewish people only hear good news.

-also in merit of a complete and speedy Refuah Shelaima for Ora Mital Bas Bella Habosha

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May we merit the geula now because of all that we have already accomplished.

-i pledge to give tzedaka everyday to remember everyday all the good qualities of toby and to apply them to myself.


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What a beautiful ray of sunshine you were


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may toby have an aliya and hshem bless all those in need , and bring moshiach ! ad mosai !

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I am completely awed by everything i have been hearing about Toby. It always seems that it's the special people that Hashem chooses to take away from us. But iyh with all the mitzvos that everyone decides to take on in Toby's memory, and even before that, we should have the hisgalus of the Rebbe Melech Hamoshiach right now, leading us out of golus, where we will see all of these special neshomos once again.

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Though I never met Toby I want to live like her. I cant wait to meet you Toby, today, now, with Moshiach! AD MASI!

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May we merit the coming of Moshiach NOW!! Besuros Tovos - only Tov Hanirah Vihaniglah BGu"R ALWAYS!!

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This past summer I have worked in a CGI. All the girls told me about Toby and how she was such a wonderful girl. Well i wanted to take on something new and i thought I should make it in honor of Toby.

-i hope that everyone is both inspired and encouraged to join Project Pledge

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I don't know toby, but she sounds like a very speciall person. thank you to her friends who are doing all of this in honor of Toby.

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Her Neshama should have an Aliya. I think I knew her family 11 years ago....did they live in Delaware? I was a counselor in CGI, and ate shabbos meal at her family.......what a loving, dynamic, WARM happy family. I think I knew her as a younger girl, and I have a photo of her and her family 11 ys. ago. May we all be comforted.

-May our good deeds no longer be inspired by tragedies...enough of this.

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Tonight I started a womans group on Emunah and Bitachon. I know that the power of my starting the group came from my connection and knowing Toby. I also share that same love of her, and she is etched in my heart also. This group is a pilot group of women and we are coming together to work through a workbook based on Duties of the Heart. We are also learning Chassidus of Emunah in addition. Our goal is to eventually spread out as far and as wide as, for example, The Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation. It is emunah and Bitachon in Hashem that will help to bring the Geulah....and it is through the women that the geula will happen!!! May our work elevate the neshama of Toiba bas Zalman Dovid.

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Hashem should comfort you all and send us the geulah immediately where we will be reunited with our loved ones

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May this website be like Tuvia's train that had no end.

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May her soul be bound up in the bonds of eternal life, an everlasting blessing among us.

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Moshiach now, the ultimate comfort. May Hashem truly openly reveal only goodness to His children without delay.

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i'll do my best for toby althought i didn't get to know her

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May she go straight to the Kise Hakavod and finally convince Hashem to send the Gheula!

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To Toby's family and friends, we are all with you in this darkest time of golus, It's impossible for me to belive that Moshiach isn't coming imminantly, I know that these beautiful Miztvos are giving Toby's holy Neshama an Aliyah and bringing Moshiach Now! HaMakom Yenachem Eschem Besoch Shaarei Avlei Tzion VeYerushalaim.

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I learned chassidus with toby and she really struck me as a special girl, who recognized the immense opportunities in the world, in terms of chassidus, science and music. I respect her very much, and am happy that she is able to continue to have a good influence on my life.

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I will Daven Mincha with Toby A"H in mind and pray that others will be inspired to be like her and that none of them should be taken as early as her

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I only knew toby for a short while at tizmoret, but from the the first time i met her that she was a happy amazing role model for not only her siblings but also me and the rest of tizmoret.


Thursday, August 9, 2007

Many people knew toby, but few knew her for as long and as much in quantity as I did. I feel that it's fair to say that she has seen every part of my life, and helped me with every aspect of my growth since I met her in the brownie girl scouts. we homeschooled, learned torah, built campfires, played violin, ice skated, orchestra'd, 4-h'd, girl scouted, camped, hiked, shabbosed, shopped, went to music camp, met random people, cried, laughed, and hugged so many times that the part that she is of me is such a big piece, and now I don't know where that piece fits. it's funny a little bit if you think of the world as an enormous puzzle, and you have a person in your life who is such a big piece of your puzzle, but she's really a piece of god's puzzle, more than she was of yours, and if the puzzle goes to two different games, the god puzzle should come first, because he's the master over all creation.
Toby was, was just so incredibly alive. she felt hard and spoke passionately, and loved so much. She wanted to experience everything she could, whenever she could. Once I came to her school play, in 10th grade, and she was every part, and everything she could do was in that play, she sang, danced, acted, played violin, did gymnastics...and besides for it being a play about coming closer to hashem, that was something that was just so boldly toby, to get caught up in anything she could, that any direction could pull her and then suddenly she would be the best at it. Deciding to go into biochemistry was a whim for her, and after working hard the first semester, it went easily. and she was just so many other things, and everything she did, it was all at the same time as being someone whose sweetness embodied them to such an extent that noone can remember her without a smile on her face.
Have you ever met someone who was so many things? If she was a piece of me, and she was so many things, then now that she's gone, then everything that is still with me of her and my memories of her are so firmly impressed in me that even though god took his puzzle piece back, I still have it. She's been tattooed on my heart, and she will always be there. I don't look at this and ask why, and I don't look and say it's not fair, because who am i to judge fair or not fair. she belonged to hashem so much more than she belonged to any human being. she was so caught in being purely herself, that she was purely angelic. And that is why I don't ask why. God put an angel on the world so that we could all know an angel. Now all we can say is thank you for giving us an inspiration in the form of toby.